Thursday, April 14, 2011

Red (eyed) Bull

In a freak bit of good luck we were first up for surgery today [minor outpatient surgery on my girl's eyes  - Strabismus Repair, Round II].  Last time we were not first.  No, no - decidedly not first.  Last time we got there at 10 and didn't even start the process till 3ish.  Trying to keep an active 18 month old (at the time) happy for FIVE hours, when her last meal was one state back, was tiring
There was no gentle flower eating today

This time we were there at 6 and out the door by 10:30.  Though the last hour or two in the recovery room she was P.I.S.S.E.D.  Angry like a bull trapped in a ring, poked once too often.  We had multiple nurses stop by - is she in pain?  Nauseous?  Can we do anything for her?  Can we do anything for YOU?  (Booze didn't seem to be an option so I didn't ask)  No, she was fully medicated, she was just really, really annoyed with the adults in her life.  She screeched if I tried to put her down but then 30 seconds later would squirm out of my arms.  Except she was still loopy and could barely stand, though would bat away my hand if I tried to steady her.  So she would fall down onto her butt and then cry like she was the most neglected baby in the history of the world.  FUN. 

One of the first books I remember reading
by myself.  This is my original copy...
so it's REALLY old.
 When we got home the girl promptly took a three hour nap and I made Matt divulge the location of the jelly beans.  Though I'll admit my (new) standard-post-hospital glass of Bordeaux did NOT mesh well with the jelly beans. Maybe I should've gone with a white instead? 

She's awake now and alternating between whining, and throwing herself onto the cushions, laughing.  Love that child.  I made a big deal with the anesthesiologist about her neck not being cleared yet - I didn't mention that belly flopping forward onto cushions, beds, & mom is her new most favorite activity.  She especially likes to sneak up on me, causing no end of close calls as I barely catch her in time to avoid breaking her nose on the floor. Or my kneecap.  I'm kinda thinking her neck is probably FINE. 

Since I mentioned the anesthesiologist ...  My MIL came with me during her first eye surgery (too long of a story to explain why) and after the decade long wait for them to start, we were both tired, and, dare I say it? A mite grumpy?  And frazzled?  Then the anesthesiologist came through the door - with a spot light and rising choir music.  He was straight out of Central Casting - Clooney in scrubs redeux (I was a diehard ER fan...watched to the bitter end).  If he didn't pay for medical school by modeling, then he ran up $100k in loans unnecessarily.  But he was a YOUNG Clooney, ink barely dry on the diploma.  And so with my MIL standing right beside me, about to hand my baby over for elective surgery (elective, thus not necessary to maintain life, thus perhaps not worthy of the risk?  What am I doing risking her life just so she doesn't end up with a wall-eye?  Bad superficial mom!)...  So I'm about to hand my baby over to this stranger and am thinking, not necessarily in this order:
Please don't kill my child.
Maannn, you are HAWT  (epitome of maturity, I am)
You are WAY too young for me
MIL is standing RIGHT THERE, she can probably read your mind.
You are WAY too young to be a real doctor
Please don't kill my child.

[Yes, Matt's heard this story.  He also shared his jelly beans with me today, so must still like me despite my brief, parentally-supervised, wandering eye].

At least it was distracting.  This time the sleepy time doc had, if not an actual diagnosis, then at least some pronounced social tics.  And, um, while I'm sure he's a very nice man, a Clooney clone he was not.  We'll know in about three months whether or not this fix stays fixed.  Highly amusing was the doctor's answer on how often the second repair needs to be repaired - 10%.  *sigh* 

Totally unrelated & on the list of things you never thought you'd say:
To the boy, trying to avoid bedtime tonight by "helping":  STOP DOING THE DISHES!

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious post.
    Probably don't hear that too often when posts relate to eye surgery, ay?
    We have similar post-surgery reactions. Scares me every time. What if he STAYS this way?

    Glad you had Mr. Clooney(esque) to distract you.
    And funny, I find Bordeaux helps with my post-op recovery too!