Both kids started school today. A fact I have not processed and may not because
~I'm emotionally dead inside
~Denial, it's not just a river
~There is a tsunami of guilt and fear and pride and love all swirling around in a bubbling cauldron and if I tap on the dam it might just break and then there would not be enough chocolate or red wine or kleenex in the state to stem the flood. Or fix my metaphors.
More later, but one of my girl's teachers took pictures. I asked her permission to post but didn't hear back - am assuming it's ok since, you know, she's my child but please note photo credit belongs to Mrs C... because I wasn't there (massive heaving sobs). Matt was, and met the bus driver and aide, and trailed them most of the way to school - to verify what, exactly, I'm not sure, that the driver wasn't pulling over for a quick cig? - but I told him too. I can't believe I wasn't there. I can't believe we have use the bus. I also can't believe I am mother to a first grader. I can't believe we didn't get pictures of that. Not a great parenting day.