Sick as a Dog, Working like a Dog, & one Dog's Work

My kids are not pukers.  Other than the four glorious months after my daughter arrived in this world and before her heart was fixed, when she was busy projectiling onto our ceilings, I can think of only one other time they've had the vomiting flu (on vacation, naturally).  Nonetheless, I had a tummy ache the Monday after my BBQ race (triggering my fear I'd poisoned our guests), and actually cut out from work a couple hours early.  Then my girl was banned from daycare that Wednesday & we proactively kept her brother home too because he said his stomach hurt but they were both FINE all day and it was a giant non-event. 

Except daaayyyss later, last Sunday, my son got sick right into one of our nice living room throws, which later dissolved into laundry machine clogging Killer Fuzz, so I stayed home from work with them both, again, on Monday (last Monday - I realize my timeline is a mess here).  But again, they were FINE and played all day while I tried not to sulk about my burgeoning inbox.  So we sent him back to school on Tuesday.... where he proceeded to puke in the middle of the lunchroom.  How scarring is that for a kid?  Is this just a rite of passage, this public puking?  It's first grade - I hope they don't start assigning permanent nick-names quite yet.  I'd hate something that rhymes with barfer be his school moniker for the next 7 years.

My current theory about kids, viruses, and work is that there's an inverse ratio between how sick they are, how long they're sick and how much time you spend worrying about your employers whilst tending to them.  Too bad we don't have a fancy graphics person on staff here - just use your imagination. 

     Minor short lived cold?  ~~  Take a vacation day, clean out the fridge, & catch up on the laundry.  Not a big deal.  Who really expects a return call in less than 24 hours anyway?  

     Real illnesses, requiring hospital admission?  ~~ Job?  What job?  Ironically also the time the job steps up, pulls your messages for you AND you get legal cover under FMLA. 

It's the minor lingering ailments that wear on moms and bosses alike.  Which is why I spent yet another Saturday at work again.  Which is also why I feel so very weary.  The most optimistic thought I can muster up right now is "this too shall pass".  Not exactly a great way to start a  full (hopefully) five day work week. 

And only slightly related, in that it tied in nicely with the title and since I'd mentioned food borne illnesses -  I'd pulled a very old costco-sized jar of mayo out of the fridge on one of these recent sick days and then apparently(?) left it on the counter.  [Foreshadowing:  CRITICAL ERROR].  I suppose I was going rinse it out to recycle?  I really don't remember other than marveling at how very long ago its expiration date was and then trying to remember if I'd given it to the kids lately.  I hadn't.  We're not big mayo users which is how we ended up with a very large, almost full, very expired jug o'mayo... sitting out, unguarded, while I put the kids to bed.  I came back downstairs to find a HALF full jar sitting on the stairs, which is where the big dog likes to guard the house.  In the other room I found the lid. With only a couple canine teeth punctures.  He doesn't even need to gnaw it off - my dog can open jars.  We should go on Letterman.  With any luck we won't puke on him.