Of Tulle & Self Mockery

General update on the speech issues:  I requested an IEP meeting with the school, set for next Monday.  Conveniently scheduled at the same time as The Girl's 4 year check up which I just remembered I forgot to move, where I'm going to chat up her pediatrician and vomit up pour out all of my concerns, arguments, and counter-arguments.  Should be a fun week.

Editorial note:  All the photos in focus are my SIL's.  The blurry ones are mine.  It should be easy to sort out whose are whose.  

But let us talk of lighter things, of tulle, and cupcakes, mommy's domestic skills, and my confused half formed social agenda.

Oh yes, mom. Let's talk about THIS.

Plan A:
Many, many weekends ago we celebrated The Girl's fourth birthday.  I was responsible for the birthday cake and party theme.  We don't do anything fancy - balloons, streamers, and maybe some match-matchy party napkins.  Simple enough, right?  The Girl likes dolls, books, animals, and Signing Times.  Pick one, preferably one that doesn't involve kidnapping Rachel (of STime fame).  T-minus two weeks I was thinking a zoo theme.

I LOVE zoo animals!

(*cough*)

Plan B:
T-minus three days I was still thinking a zoo theme but I've hated every birthday cake we've ever bought from the two local bakeries.  They haven't even been Cakewrecks bad, which would have least provided conversational fodder, they've just been half-assed.  Then I remembered we had the female equivalent of the cupcake toppers we'd used for The Boy's pirate/Spongebob birthday AND, bonus, we could take all the money we would have dumped into a day old blob of frosting and buy a fancy hunk-o-beef, instead of the leather we usually make our guests gnaw.  Win-win!

Plan C:
T-minus two days my SIL mentions a friend of hers makes Cake Boss-level cakes.  I spend an hour drooling over her pretty website, then lose another day trying to track her down, because I'm nothing if not decisive, only to find out she was in Chicago.   She refused to fly home early for me.

Help!  It's pulling me in!

Plan B, again:
Fine.  Princesses it is.  T-minus 24 hours, Matt picks up the fancy hunk-o-beef and a couple party favors.  Except he comes home with Disney princess themed crap.  Gasp!  The Horror!  And this is where I have a hard time explaining why the generic princesses we already owned were acceptable, but Snow White and Jasmine are not.  Generic princesses still have the potential to spurn dissolute princes and grow up to be wise and generous ruling Queens (Virgin Queens, of course).  We already know Snow White just lounged around, waiting for a boy to fix things.  Right?  It wasn't even the Disney bit - yes, large, wasteful, multi-national company but, man, I do enjoy their parks.  Matt refused to return everything until I acknowledged this might not be the most rational argument I've ever made.

Looking queenly.

Plan B, Section II:
In laughing about my haphazard party planning skills at work, someone mentioned a tutu-tiara set they'd seen.  A TUTU!  WHY, OF COURSE!  If we're going to go off the deep end of gender stereotyping, let's go ALL IN.  I can too plan a pink princess party!  Except we're not going to buy the easy cheap one already made by a small child in a third world country, THAT part would be wrong.  Just in case this post does not make it clear, my domestic skills are limited.  Crafting is not included.  But I love a challenge and what's more hard core than making a tutu 20 minutes before the guests arrive?  [Answer:  pretty much anything].  Luckily my dear friend D and her craft-magic MIL came early.  Matt was otherwise occupied with the BBQ so I pulled out my stash of pink fluff and talked them into tying little knots for me.  At one point Matt came in to grab the pepper - I refused to make eye contact and told him to just keep walking.  There is nothing going on here that you need to know about.   He hates last minute.   

Where did my foot go, mom? 

All those do-it-yourself websites are right, it really does only take 20 minutes for a no sew tutu.  Three people and 20 minutes.  In case you're concerned, in order to correct the imbalance in the universe her 5 year party is going be biker chick themed.

"Can you BELIEVE what mom made me wear?"

And one more for the road: