Sister Wives

No! Not like that! Jeez. 
[But, ohmygoodness, do I crack myself up]

My little sister, as you might recall, is newly engaged.  She came to visit this weekend to go dress shopping because I am the epitome of style & grace because I refused to fly out to her.  And she was shamed into it when her announcement that she bought a dress online was met with...silence.  I know she's reading this - this isn't anything I wouldn't tell her directly but my little sis is a little more granola and cheap practical than I am.  Hence her savings account and my debt.  But the online dress just, well, there was just NO WAY that was going to turn out well.  She brought it with her &, to her credit, it wasn't terrible.  But she herself was just meh about it and we -all- felt there should be more excitement.  This isn't a not-quite-right-but-on-sale pair of jeans that'll be good enough to go buy milk in, this was her wedding dress. 

And don't misunderstand me.  It's not the white dress and ponies, per se.  If she wanted to wear a Hawaiian shirt, cut offs, and roast a pig in a pit, then great, we'd have the best damn luau EVER.  Courthouse weddings?  Highly recommended.  But the "yup, found something vaguely appropriate" was enough to start wondering if maybe we'd have time to grab a movie after the ceremony. 

So we went shopping.  She googled and set up, not 2-3 appointments, just to try the different styles, see what she liked, maybe have time for a nice lunch, sisterly bonding... she set up a MARATHON of 5 stores in 9 hours.  All of a sudden she's the retail-ista? 

But I'm her big sis - I'll rally - ain't no damn young'un going to out shop me! 

The first place was warehouse-y, cash out the door, DIY.  There were a few that had potential....
had we razored all the seams and resewn them ourselves. 

The second place was high end - including the high pressure youhavetobuyadressnowNowNOW otherwise you will be nekkid on your wedding day and we will all Diiiieeee.  But the dress she liked best was either the floor model with the special sash and $700 in alterations (and a desperately needed dry cleaning), or the special order price but they could maybe knock $200 off, making it within spitting distance of the floor model with all the fixin's. Except she'd still need the special $295 sash.  Thank goodness it was still early in the day for us - I imagine some poor young bride with low blood sugar, at the end of a marathon shopping day, just handing over her car title and a kidney if only to make the nice ladies there ease up.

The third place - well, angels sang.  The owner (?) there had actually talked to my sister for a while when she was making the appointment and recognized her when she walked in (the 6'00" was probably a big hint).  She started to ask her what she was interested in - then completely cut her off and said, "Doesn't matter, I've already picked some things out".  Every direction we were thinking?  Wrong.  This lady is the Wedding Whisperer.  My sis nearly bought the first dress she tried on, till the owner persuaded her to try on the 2nd and, well, there might've been a tear shed.  [Not saying by who] 


The only part I'm allowed to show right now.
Look!  It's made of ...Fabric!



And it was a sign that my miserly sister was finally getting excited about the whole event (the party part, obviously, not the marriage part) when the purchase triggered a fraud check call from her credit card.  [Not that I'd encourage anyone to ever blow their budget.  Ever.  Assuming that budget was thoughtful and realistic, and originally allowed for more than cut offs and a Hawaiian shirt from Goodwill].

Bonus for me?  We were done shopping and were busy eating Chinese by 3:30. 



I had planned to lead this into a story about my very own very very special wedding day from hell but this is already long enough & I will let the bride keep the spotlight.  For today.  But, as a teaser, remember the old saying about the worse the wedding, the better the marriage?   [Matt's going to get all worked up about this because, yes, it was beautiful day - except for... (ominous drum roll...  Which I don't know how to type out.  Dum-dumm-da-dummmm?)]