Thursday, November 4, 2010


Or:  Typhoid Mary Travels.

I've told most of you bits & pieces of how our last week went but for those of you I missed, here are the highlights -  with only a couple tangents:
  • Friday - Rear ended on my way to pick up the girl.  $25 after 6:00 fee and $3900 damage.  By some miraculous god-induced blindness no one noticed that that damage should have totalled out my car.  Should be ready this coming Monday.  This meant that I spent Friday night sitting very still on the couch... not packing.  In the early morning hours, when I finally got around to it, it seemed perfectly logical to have three carry ons, one car seat, one stroller, and two kids.  But look mom!  I only checked one bag!  That would be my special version of packing light.
  • Saturday - Our dear brother in law drove us to the airport but we started talking and I made the ghastly critical error of not keeping the girl awake. So she thought that her 10 minute car-nap was all she needed and thus spent the four hour plane flight rubbing her eyes and being particular.  I spent the entire flight playing court jester to keep the screaming muted.  I am not a naturally funny person - that gig was exhausting.  After we landed she had the gall to fall asleep in the car before we even pulled out of LAX.  Stinker. 
  • Also - Despite being at the gate a full two hours early (I know! Shocking!), we nearly missed the plane.  They announced the plane was 5 minutes out, we stepped across the way because I suddenly realized we didn't have earphones, we walked back out of the store and they were on last call.  The store wasn't 100 yards from the gate.  Time warps are a reality.  We were the LAST people on the plane.  I couldn't find our boarding passes, resulting in the pathetic scene of me, near tears, convinced we'd been pickpocketed, with the contents of every single one of our multiple carry ons spread frentically across the gate area.  We were eventually allowed on, they made people move around for us, the boy was repeatedly asking for something inane, the girl was crying, I could not get the damn car seat strapped in, there was glaring, they were waiting the plane on us me and I had... a moment.  One of those "just stop, breathe, & eff em" moments. 
  • Also en route - I lost my cell phone.  Flying standby with two small children sans phone?  Bad idea.  Did you know they don't have pay phones anymore?  I asked & was laughed at.  Could have sworn it was in my pocket and disappeared in the terminal, but 8 days later it mysteriously showed back up in my work bag.  Highly questionable. 
  • Also - I very very carefully packed all liquid-y items in the designated sandwich bags but at the last minute threw in the boy's light up ball.  His water-filled light up ball.  The one he never plays with but I thought his sister might like.  Naturally, security took it away and he stood there, suddenly very grown up, no temper tantrum, but with his big brown eyes turning red and watery.  That, my dear boy, is so much more effective than the howling.  So I bought him a new one as soon as I could get to a store. 
  • Sunday - The girl had a gaggy coughing thing and didn't want to be put down.  Nor would she look at her Gigi.  If her great-grandmother said anything or even looked directly at her she immediately pouted and turned away.  Excellent. Glad I hauled you half-way across the country!  Turns out the gaggy thing got worse & turned into puking and the "didn't want to be put down" became literal screaming if I dared to.  Nor would she sleep that night if horizontal.  So, um, long night.
  • Monday - We finally took her to urgent care (two actually, the first didn't treat kids - what?!) where the crack physician diagnosed both ear infection AND a stomach "thing".  First non-surgery-related antibiotics...  You'd think I was forcing hot bleach down her throat.  Last dose, thank GOD, was today... 10 #$%^& days later.  Next time I'm having her hospitalized just for the IV access. 
  • Tuesday - The.crying.did.not.stop....Good thing Papa F came down to see us and took the boy to the beach.  Sick babies and active 5 year old boys are a terrible combo.   
  • Wednesday - The girl is feeling better.  Papa left and we had a lovely picnic at the park where my sandwich just  Got home and was violently "indisposed" the rest of the day.  The boy watched  something like 9 hours of TV straight whilst the girl languished in her crib like an Eastern European orphan.  Click here if you wonder about our intent to adopt later soon sometime
  • Thursday/Friday - RUBIOS.   Also, the girl finally smiled at her Gigi (there was food involved).
  • Saturday - So sad saying goodbye. Sorry we puked all over your house, Gigi, and didn't eat any of your meals.  Betcha can't wait for us to come back!
  • Sunday - Health!  Happiness!  Chocolate!  Green Pumpkin Guts!  The boy completely worked over the neighbors.  He was reportedly grabbing handfuls of candy so I tried to ratchet him in - "Only take ONE piece" - but, in true legal eagle mode, he specified that it would be OK if they gave him two pieces, right?  "Sure, if they give you two."  I did not clarify that he should not be requesting a two-item donation.  Also, Crushing Disappointment:  Despite all the loot there were only four measly single-bite Whoppers to be found.  Hardly worth all the fuss without the Whoppers.  The girl was adorable and snuggle warm in her Pooh outfit.  When did it get to be winter? 
  • Monday - Daddy had to work on Halloween and hadn't seen the boy in forever, so they plotted a truant boys' day.  Turns out the plague had quite kindly bided it's time till the candy was collected, in order to better to taunt the nauseous, then struck.  Boys day ended up being ginger ale, cool washcloths, and lots more TV.   [Side note - Longest incubation period ever?  That was 5 days of stealth virus breeding.  Or replicating.  Whatever it is that virus do.] 
  • Tuesday - Recovering.
  • Wednesday - Who hasn't been sick yet?  THAT'S RIGHT!  Daddy, laid low.   
  • Today - More daddy-whining. But towards the end of the day, after the nth nap, he seems to have rallied.  I'm sure the cousins will all start in soon, since the boy was kind enough to visit with them on Sunday, but at least the four of us survived and shockingly, Gigi, our lady of steel, was the only one who failed to fall victim. 
Well worth the plague:

1 comment:

  1. I am exhausted just reading that.

    every time I travel with kids I feel like I should get some kind of award at the end. it's grueling.

    welcome home!