Matt and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on Saturday. I was talking to a 26 year old on Friday, mentioned our weekend plans and the occasion, and she expressed a total lack of comprehension (and maybe a little horror). She was 14 when we got married - now she has a college degree and a full time job. 12 years is a very long time.
We moved to Matt's hometown when I was 6 months pregnant with my son. Matt was ready to leave his old job, there was a spot open I wanted, and we jumped, leaving my beloved California behind but never thinking there was a bloody chance in hell we'd stay here permanently. Seven years later, it's home.
After we moved, my new OB told us we'd hit almost all the major life stressors a couple can hit in under a year: loss of a baby, loss of a job (even if voluntarily), new job (mine), roll reversal (stay at home dad!), and a big move. Ha! Little did he know! The baby he delivered shortly thereafter didn't stop screaming for the next 9 months. Then three years later our daughter was born with special needs, we faced major health concerns (heart surgery!), severe financial duress, and another new job (Matt's). If most marriages are marathons, ours is like the Iron Man - you might have run 26 miles but, surprise!, you still have 114 miles to go. Maybe even the Iron Man where they take you out if you slow down, like that Stephen King story.
Though that might be a little grim. This guy can drive me INSANE, but when I think back over the last 12 years I mostly remember the hugs, the laughing - even if it occasionally veers off into bitter chuckles or anxious giggles - and holding his hand.
There's a statistic floating around that couples who parent a baby with Down syndrome actually have a lower divorce rate than average. I can see that - my daughter lights up a room and could make Ebenezer Scrooge grin. Who could argue about the dishes when there are babies to dance with? But even though this is Down syndrome awareness month, and even though all (a-hem) my posts this month are dedicated to my daughter, even if tangentially, this one thing - these twelve years - are all ours.
So much laughter and love. I cannot fathom my life without you. Happy Anniversary, baby.
|Someone take a decent picture of us, please!|